World's Biggest Worrywart

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not a very brave person....especially when it comes to doing something I've never done before. I am one that likes to know absolutely everything about an event prior to taking part in it, just so I know that there won't be any surprises. Even if I know that the second time around won't be exactly like the first experience it's just not quite as scary or worrisome once I've done something remotely similar before.



Case in point. Prior to going in to have the baby turned, I had read absolutely everything I could about it. I knew everything that was going to happen...procedure wise. Still, the morning of I was so subconsciously nervous that I lost my breakfast shortly after eating it. I didn't think I was scared. After all, I knew all there was to know about it. However, reading about it and experiencing it were two totally different things. Hearing/reading that it's going to hurt doesn't quite prepare you for the actuality of just how badly it is really going to hurt.....for days!



I know handfuls of women that have delivered their babies c-section. My sister, friends, neighbors, aunt. It's so common in fact, some women (crazy as they may be) would actually prefer a c-section even if they don't have to have one. I'm not one of those women.



I know deep down that everything is going to be okay. Way deep down. I know the facts about a c-section. I know everything they can possibly do (I think) and all the possible complications (I think). Knowing all that I know, I still have no idea.



The unknown is so absolutely terrifying to me. It is robbing me of sleep and peace of mind. For the past 3 nights my dreams have been down right twisted and altogether frightening. If I let my mind think about it in the day (or night for that matter) I start to cry. Yes, cry. I am a 29 year old baby that is very scared to have this baby.



Approximately 13 more days and all the fears of having a c-section will be gone....or just slightly altered.