Positive and Pink

There's really no way I can adequately catch everyone up with what's been going on. So, if you don't know the whole story, and your life won't be complete without it, send me an email!

Here's what you might not know:

We're having a baby!

It's a GIRL baby!

We are due July 14th!

I was in the hospital last week after I started dilating and thinning at only 20 weeks.

I had a procedure called a cerclage done. It has been successful so far.

This has been my schedule since last Tuesday. Get up from bed. Go to bathroom. Walk to couch. Lay on couch. Sit up to eat. Lay on couch. Lay on couch. Roll over on couch. Walk to bathroom. Back to couch. Sit up to eat. Lay on couch. Lay on couch. Lay on couch. Lay on couch.

Are you sensing a pattern?

Since being released from the hospital I was put on bed rest with bathroom privileges. And oh, what a privilege it is! Better than a catheter, and it changes my scenery for a couple of minutes each day.

I've taken over Brian's laptop. From the couch I check/respond to email, talk on the phone, strongly encourage Jaxon to keep focusing on his homework :), and watch as friends and family clean my house, feed, clothe, play with, care for, and hold my boys. Despite what some may think, it's not a very fun vacation.

I'm not a prissy pregnant girl. You know, the kinds that can't even carry their purse when they're pregnant? I'm a power-through-it, take-no-prisoners, I-can-take-care-of-me-and-my-own kind of gal. Until now. Now I can't. And it's tough. Really tough.

I feel like I have lost all control over my life...and it's a scary thought. Last night I started to cry and Brian asked what was wrong. I feel so overwhelmed with everything I can't do. Who would have thought that could be possible? Overwhelmed with so little? Brian tenderly told me "All you have to worry about right now is going to sleep." Simple. It was just what I needed.

I can't worry about the big picture. All I can do is what I can do right now. And right now all I can do for this baby girl is give her a safe, warm place to grow.

Today after one of my trips from the couch to the bathroom I made my bed. I felt empowered! I felt in control! It's amazing how something so simple, can make a girl feel so happy! Don't you all go worrying now. I came straight back to the couch :) It's all going to be about baby steps, but I know I will feel better if I take back a little control of my life...in whatever form I can.

It's a very humbling experience to have people serve you. When I feel awkward I know that it is my pride. I don't know if it gets easier. I hope it does.

I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many people who love my family. I am beyond grateful for a doctor that not only provides excellent care for me, but truly does care about me and my family. I know there is a purpose and a plan bigger than I can comprehend, and it is the plan that will give my life the most purpose. All designed by a loving Father who knows, loves, and cares for me unconditionally.

With every cramp and contraction I feel worried.

With every kick and somersault I feel hope.

And with every prayer I feel peace.