Finding My Groove

I miss teaching. A lot. Especially this time of year. There were rulers on sale for a penny each and I was thrilled beyond words, but I stopped myself because I didn't need rulers. I also didn't need the 4 packages of red pens that are on my kitchen counter, but I didn't realize that until Brian asked what I was going to do with 40 red pens. Ummm, give them to one of my teacher friends? Back to the point. I miss teaching, but I feel like an awful mom when I think about how much I miss going back to school. I couldn't do it both. I couldn't be a great mom and a great teacher at the same time. There wasn't enough time, energy, or patience in the day for me to give each job the attention they needed. Really, when it comes right down to it I would choose being a mom over any job in the world. But I still miss teaching....does that make me a bad mom?

My first year teaching 2nd grade...these cute little munchkins are going into 9th grade this year?!?

It's taken me a lot longer than I thought to find my groove as a stay-at-home mom. When I worked there were only a few hours/days to get all my errands done, house cleaned, church stuff done, etc. Once I was home I felt that I had all the time in the world so if I didn't do laundry today I could do it tomorrow. I had become the master procrastinator...and super lazy...and I didn't like it. I didn't feel connected to all the other moms in the neighborhood. It was so easy to walk into the school each morning and see my friends everywhere I turned. I had a vision of what staying home would be like: playgroups, picnics in the park, field trips....fun and learning around every corner. So far that hasn't been the case. Most days it's just us and most days it feels like just another humdrum day.



And then I started running. The initial reason for running was to get back in shape, but a side and equally important reason was social time. I need people. A few girls from the neighborhood had started running and I jumped in and joined their little group. We first started running in the evening. It worked okay for a while but then life started interfering with our runs. Three of us branched off and started running at 6 a.m. That's when I noticed the change. I was getting up early (around 5:15 most days) to eat a little something before the run. While I ate I started reading from my scriptures or the Ensign. When I got home from running I would change my shoes in the garage and pull weeds for a little while. Even with the yard work most days can still shower and get ready before the boys wake up. I ran my first 5k in July at Clinton Heritage Days. My goal was to run it in 30 minutes and my official time was 30:55! It was exhilarating! I never knew running could be so fun!

There are days when the alarm goes off and I don't get out of bed. Inevitably on those days I wish I had had the willpower to get up and go running. Everything about the day is better when I get up early. I feel better. I am more patient. I get more done. I have more energy. I have developed closer friendships. Running has changed me. Physically, spiritually, emotionally, socially.



As my "teacher friends" are getting their classrooms set up and ready for their new groups of students, planning lessons, and sitting in (long and usually boring) meetings, I am going to relish in the fact that I get to be a mom to the two greatest boys in the world. The classroom will always be there, but my boys won't stay little forever.

I'm finding my groove and it's feeling good!

(Right now Jaxon is telling me "Mom...you need to quit and read me a story. Mom? You said you were coming and you're not. Why aren't you quiting?" He's so good to remind me of the things that are truly important! ♥)