Years ago I had a bishop ask me to stay for a minute longer after a ward council meeting. There was a new sister who had recently moved into the ward and he said that when he first met her he was reminded of me when I had first moved in. She was struggling to fit in and thought that I might be able to help. Because it was the bishop asking me to help, I agreed. I really didn't know what I could possibly offer besides friendship. I had never met her. I hadn't even seen her before. But I gathered enough courage to call her, explain who I was, and see if we could meet.
The meeting was to take place at a primary activity. She would bring her little girl and I would be there with Jaxon. It would be awkward for sure. I was nervous and I really didn't know what I would say or do. Praying before I left that morning helped, but I was still at a loss.
I saw someone I didn't know walk in with a little girl and assumed it must be her. I walked over and introduced myself. We introduced the kids to each other and started with the small talk. You know: where do you work, where did you grow up, hobbies, interests, high school....anything to spark some real conversation.
It was fine but I was wondering what the point of all this was. We carried on with the kids doing the Father's Day crafts and the small talk. Right before the end of the activity her little girl starting throwing a fit. She ushered her out of the cultural hall and into the hall. I stood there not knowing what to do, but then felt that I should follow her out.
She was trying to get her little girl to calm down and seemed very frustrated and embarrassed. Though I don't remember a similar experience with Jaxon, suddenly I saw myself in her and saw Jaxon in her little girl. All of the feelings and struggle that I had been through came bubbling to the surface. I knelt down next to her little girl and started talking to her. I told her to help her mommy. That her mommy loved her and she was trying really hard. I asked her to be a good little girl. She calmed down and whatever had caused the fit was forgotten. Tears streamed down my face as I looked up at this young mom who was trying to hold it all together and who was completely exhausted in the process. My heart hurt for her because I understood in part the struggle she was going through.
We stood there, strangers brought together by the bishop, crying in the hallway of the church. And I understood. I understood why the bishop thought that I might be able to offer her something that not everyone else in the ward could offer. Empathy. I could show her love, friendship, and understanding. I could offer her hope.
I believe that part of our trials, sufferings, struggles, etc. on this earth is to learn empathy. I have been so blessed and strengthened in my life when I have heard stories of struggle and triumph. Sometimes it's enough to know that we're not alone in this journey, because sometimes it does feel very lonely. There are others who have been down similar paths and there is a lot to learn and wisdom to gain from them. Not that I think I have wisdom to share. But I have learned a lot from others and maybe all this rambling will help someone know that they aren't alone.
I suppose that is the reason I decided to share a deeper part of my life.
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